Just now, the phone on my desk started vibrating violently without any warning.😵💫😵💫 😵💫 In that split second, my heart skipped a beat, and my breathing grew tight. It feels so absurd.😣 😣 😣 I can spend hours on Reddit, WhatsApp, or Telegram chatting with friends, or even type out thousands of words analyzing existentialism. Yet, when I see that green button bouncing, I feel an unprecedented sense of intrusion.🫠 🫠
1. The loss of a buffer period
The most charming thing about texts, DMs, or posts is their asynchronous nature. I can edit, delete, and restructure my thoughts. I can even go grab a coffee or stare out the window before replying, organizing my logic and emotions. This buffer gives us a sense of control.
But what is a phone call? It is a forced, real-time psychological gamble where nothing can be retracted. You must be "on" the second you answer. You cannot polish your tone through text. Every bit of your awkwardness, silence, and hesitation is magnified and broadcast through the airwaves.
2. The passive erosion of private boundaries
Does anyone else feel that, in modern social etiquette, calling someone without a heads-up is actually quite rude? It is like someone barging into your study without knocking, regardless of whether you are daydreaming, reading, or just trying to mend your own fragmented emotions.
Texting says: "I am thinking of you, I have something to say, you can check this whenever you are free." A phone call says, "I do not care what you are doing. Give me all of your attention right now."
3. When the voice becomes too heavy
Perhaps for those of us accustomed to hiding behind screens and building worlds with logic and symbols, the human voice itself carries too much "overload." The sound of breathing, the background noise, the subtle pressure in someone's tone... these things are a massive drain on our energy and fuel our mental exhaustion.
I have been reflecting on a deeper question
Is our fear of phone calls essentially a retreat from authentic connection?
We have become used to the "curated self" that text provides. We are witty, wise, and logically sound on the internet because we have enough time to maintain that persona. The panic we feel when the phone rings is actually the fear that our "clumsy, slow, or even boring real self" will be exposed in a sudden interaction.
If even a few minutes of real-time communication causes us to panic, is the "deep connection" we pursue truly a soul resonance? Or are we just chasing a controllable social illusion?
- Do you keep your phone on silent all year round?
- When you see an incoming call, do you instinctively wait for it to stop and then send a text asking, "What is up?"
- Is this anxiety just a personality trait of introverts, or is it simply the current state of our social civilization?
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